somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
