We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
