So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
