idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
