that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
