I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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