If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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