I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
