my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
