In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
