"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
