At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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