her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
