Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
