Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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