I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
