Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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