you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
