I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
