Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
