yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize