Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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