all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
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making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
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you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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