i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
