I've blown a few things in my day
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
