my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
