I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize