party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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