i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
