I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
