I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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