so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
