And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
