who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
