i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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