My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
