tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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