why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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