you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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