she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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