he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
