stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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