Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
