i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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