tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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