You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
