Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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