So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He better not be in your backpack
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
