woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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