we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
