We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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