toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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