dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
