can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Randomize
