He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
