Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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