i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
where are my eyebrows?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
