Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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