Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The uberlube is also flammable
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
