Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
