I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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