i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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