I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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