He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
